All the rest of my jokes are really just variations of the hair thing so uh Although Crawford is (ever-so-slightly) more articulate than Chewie, they are both adept at slinging bolts. There's only one character in the Star Wars universe whose locks are as luxuriant as that of our dear Crawdaddy. By which we mean 'sploosh.' He flew the Triples Run in wayyyyy less than 12 parsecs and believe you me, he never shoots first.

Now that is a scruffy-looking nerf-herder of the highest order. He's a Luke Skywalker you can root for, dang it.īut who shall shepherd our hero across galaxies and into the dark heart of the Empire? Who could be roguishly dashing and suave enough to not give a single flying frig about the danger that lies ahead? WHO? He even suffered a gnarlier injury in his second movie! You'll never hear our beloved Buster whining about wanting to go to Tosche Station to pick up power converters. The only difference between Buster and Luke is that Buster is better in every way. Let us begin with the obvious, shall we? Buster Posey is Luke Skywalkerīecause how could he possibly be anything else? He is our American hero, and what is more American than the unforgiving desert planet of Tatooine? Nothing. Episode II: The Pitcher Wars can be found here. With minimum further ado, here is part one of this epic journey, featuring the position players. Because I have once again teamed up with resident GIF expert and image specialist Clay Wendler to bring you the definitive San Francisco Giants-as-Star Wars character column that absolutely no one (especially Grant) asked for. But how would we depict the REST of the Giants roster via the medium of Star Wars? WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. For shame.īut it set me to thinking and/or burying the lede: what WOULD be the perfect Star Wars universe representation of Buster Posey? Well, that one of course is readily obvious, as we shall see in just a moment. But Buster as a Clone Trooper? OUR Buster? For shame, marketing department.

Oh, don't misunderstand me I'm going to pay top dollar on eBay for the right to put that hunk of resin on my bookcase. This year, however, the giveaway is just plain wrong. Then they gave away a Death Star baseball, which combines everyone's two favorite things: baseball, and the firepower to destroy Alderaan. They encased Brian Wilson in carbonite, which is the only way to keep him from pitching through an injury and also the only way to keep him quiet for more than 10 seconds at a time. In past years, the Giants have knocked the Star Wars Day giveaway out of the park (baseball term). This year's special event giveaway for Star Wars night at AT&T Park is supposedly a Clone Trooper bobblehead with a removable mask, which reveals Buster Posey.

Mike pence count dooku